10 Things I Have Learned About Friendships in my 20s

Talking to people, and getting to know them is pretty simple for me. What can I say, I am a people person. But for the longest time, I was not good with building friendships. I lost a lot of friendships the first 2-3 years of my college life. One of the main reasons of why I lost those people was because I didn’t know myself. I didn’t know my heart and all the hurt and pain it carried around. By the time the Lord opened my eyes, most of those friendships had fallen apart.

But God (I love But’s) is so rich in mercy, grace, and a whole lot of conviction that He showed me my heart and how I was hurting people who came into my life. The following is a few things I have learned about friendships. Boy oh boy I wish I knew this. I hope it blesses you.

  1. Friends come in your life in three ways, for a REASON, a SEASON, and for a LIFETIME. Friends for a reason are usually in your life to teach or remind you of something, but they don’t last a lifetime. So try not to hold on too tight for a friend who was in your life for a reason for a whole lifetime. It gets painful and tricky real quick.
  2. A VERY high percentage of us millennials (yes I just said Millennials) are still trying to learn what Love is when it comes to being a friend to someone. So be quick to learn, slow to get angry, and slow to speak when things don’t go your way. Listen and seek to understand first.
  3. Loving another person is hard, but when you both love each other equally but different, you end up having the best friendship ever. ( shout out to my girls, my sissy, you know who you are)
  4. Don’t expect too much from the other person. I think if they are there for you and continue to encourage you, which is one of the best things in this life, then that is enough.
  5. Having a friend who loves JC (Jesus Christ) as much as you do is wonderful, encouraging, and downright beautiful.
  6. If a friend walks out of your life, it is usually best to let them, because you can’t make someone stay in your life in a meaningful and loving way. Some friendships are worth fighting for, some are not worth it. Therefore, discern whether they are worth fighting for or not.
  7. Having a real friend is someone who learns your weaknesses and still loves you. A real friend is someone who helps you get your heart all healed up and then watches you grow, change, and impact lives. That’s not just a friend. That is a sister, a forever friend, a ride or die babe, and a Jonathan to a David (in the Bible). Recognize your friends.
  8. Friendships are important and are necessary to have. It’s nice to have someone to take a selfie with, have dinner with, but more importantly, someone to witness you living life to the fullest.
  9. Don’t settle in friendships. If you are a friend with someone who treats you bad, who does not want to change and see their wrong-doing, then respectfully exit. Unless you know your identity, and you are able to love that person to life. Don’t be in a friendship that is mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually unhealthy for you.
  10. Have fun. Have fun with your 1 friend, 2 friends, or 3 friends. Take road trips, go to fancy dinners, go dancing, go shopping, and more importantly appreciate each other. Good, committed, investing, loving, caring, friends are hard to find. Cherish the ones you have.

One of my favorite verses in the bible about friendships is Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 which says “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” These verses speak so much about how friendships should be like.

  • Beloved if you don’t have that one friend who will go through the fire with you, I encourage to you to ask the Lord for wonderful loving friends in your life.
  • Check your heart. Ask yourself what is stopping you from having deep friendships with people
  • Approach/pursue the people that you would want to be friends with and invite them out to coffee ( Trust me it’s not as scary as it seems)

I pray that you are blessed with deep, intimate, loving, wonderful friendships with people.
P.S here is a picture from my wedding with my mammas, my girls, my homies, my forever amigas.
To this ladies, thank you, thank you, thank you, a million times thank you! you have made my life so much more fun, wonderful and a little more adventurous. My heart will forever be grateful for you all, for loving me in a season where i was difficult to Love. Thank you again! I sure have tasted and seen that the Lord is abundantly Gooooood!!!
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